As time goes by, the spark you and your partner had in the beginning may fade. Life gets so busy and repetitive that we sometimes forget to make time to keep the spark alive. It really doesn’t take that much time, though, and can be so beneficial to your relationship.
Whether you and your spouse have already lost the spark or if you are just afraid of it happening, here are 11 ways to keep the spark alive or bring the spark back.
I promise it’s easier than it sounds so just read these and try to implement them in your daily lives.
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How to Keep the Spark Alive (or get it back)
Show them love, all day.
This starts in the morning. Smile and kiss them (yes, even with morning breath) as soon as you wake up next to them in the morning. Let them know you’re happy to wake up next to them. Do things like this throughout the day.
Hug, hold hands, and kiss often: How to Keep the Spark Alive
These are simple actions that can make so much of a difference. You’ll feel more connected to your spouse when you hold hands, kiss, or hug. Do it in the car, while sitting on the couch, when you walk past each other in the hallway, and any other time your hands are free or you can lean in for a little kiss. Do it whenever there is an opportunity. If you do, that spark is sure to stay (or come back).
Do little things for each other.
Make the coffee if you get to the kitchen first. Send a cute text message to tell your spouse you are thinking of them if you’re away all day. Take over with the kids if they’ve had them all day. Make dinner. Get them a drink. It’s easy to be thoughtful.
Tell them when they look hot!
Letting your spouse know that you’re still attracted to them is definitely an easy way to help keep that spark alive (or bring it back).
Don’t wear sweatpants every day.
I know, I know .. we all want to. Think back, though, did you wear them all the time at the beginning of the relationship? I know I didn’t! When my husband fell in love with me I dressed cute in things that flattered me, wore makeup, and did my hair. Now, obviously I don’t do these things EVERYDAY but I do make sure I do it often.
Cuddle.
Even if it’s just for 2 minutes in between the kids asking for something. Even that short amount of time lets your partner know you’re wanting to spend time and love on them, and it’s also a nice reminder to you of how much you need that.
Ask about their day – How to Keep the Spark Alive
It lets them know you care. Listen to how their day went and ask more questions as necessary. If they’ve had a rough day ask if there is anything you can do to make it better. Be that person for them.
Random touches.
When you walk past your partner in the kitchen, touch them when you do. Even if it’s just a slight rub on their arm or a hand around their waste. Again, these little things are necessary.
Sex.
This one is obvious but so important. Your spouse needs to connect with you on this deeper, more intimate level.
Appreciate your spouse – How to Keep the Spark Alive
Tell them how lucky you are to have them, or thank them for doing the dishes.
Laugh together.
Watch a comedian, play a funny game, or watch funny YouTube videos together. Nothing can lighten up a relationship like a good laugh.
I know this was only supposed to be 11 ways to keep the spark alive, but I’m giving you a BONUS suggestion.
Learn your spouse’s love language.
We all have different love languages and it’s so much easier to give your spouse the love they NEED when you know what their love language is. I’ve read this book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts several times now and I learn something new every time. My husband’s love language is definitely physical touch while I need Words of Affirmation. Check out the book, you won’t be sorry.
Final Thoughts on How to Keep the Spark Alive
Now you don’t have to do all 11 (or 12, I suppose) ideas every single day, just when you get a chance and try to do them more often than not. Don’t let a day go by where your spouse isn’t 100% certain you’re still crazy about them. My husband is the type of person who needs physical touch to feel connected so things like holding hands, kissing, and hugging are so important to him. I’m a talker so I need him to ask/answer questions and just talk to me. Everyone is different so make sure you are aware of what your partner needs when trying to keep the spark alive.
Are there any tips that I missed? What is your favorite tip that I gave? Tell me what you think in the comments! 🙂
You know it’s true love when they let you kiss them with your morning breath.
This post was needed. A lot of times people forget the simple things that made them fall in love. They become too comfortable with each other. A reminder to do those things will definitely help keep that spark.
Definitely true love. 😂
My husband and I struggled for a long time after our son was born but luckily we realized we needed to focus on each other so much more.
Im not in a relationship but I think this is lovely advice! Great post!
Thank you!!
Love this! My husband and I do all of these things often! Each morning it’s a hug and a kiss before work, some texts throughout the day asking how everything is going, we talk about our day! He tells me I’m beautiful every day, and I try to spend 1/2 hour everyday to do my hair/get dressed. It really does make a difference! This is a great list!
Yes!! Some days are harder than others to connect but it’s so important to do it! I know the looking nice for them part may sound crazy but it’s important to remind them of who you were before kids. Thanks for the comment 🙂
Great advice, it all seems obvious, but easy to forget to do
Yes, definitely easy to forget when life gets hectic and busy. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
SO SO CUTE! LOVE THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGE PART! Was so interesting to see what each other love language was!
-LAURYN
http://WWW.ELEGANTCHANCES.COM
I love reading about the 5 love languages. Learning about them literally changed my relationship with my husband for the better.
Great post! The season of life with young kids is so hard on a marriage – it’s so easy to just collapse in exhaustion once you finally get the kids to bed and the chores done. My husband and I are trying to make a conscious effort to make our marriage a priority. These are great, easy ways to do it. Thank you!
Yes, it’s definitely a hard chapter of life to focus on marriage. It’s still so important, though and we’ve been making a conscious effort to connect more. I wrote a post about free/cheap date night ideas that might help! Let me know if you want me to send you the link! Thanks for the comment 🙂
I love this! I’m not married. My boyfriend and I have been dating over a year and a half and we live together. I think these are all excellent tips and super necessary even if you’re not married. We always think that if the spark dies so did the relationship. Not true. The spark is where you light it. I really needed to read this and I appreciate you sharing.
I completely agree! My husband I were together for over 4 years when we finally got married and already had 3 kids together. We had to work to keep the spark alive even before marriage! I’m glad this post helped you. Thanks for the comment. 🙂