8 Tips to Stop Your Child’s Whining

If your child is anything like mine, then they whine at completely unnecessary times. Sometimes, they may not be able to stop whining even when there is nothing to whine about. If that’s the case for you, you’re likely looking for a way to stop your child’s whining.

For parents and caregivers, whining can be absolutely aggravating. When your patients are already being worn thin, whining can push you right over the edge. It’s hard being a calm, patient, and understanding parent when you can’t figure out how to stop your child’s whining and what causes it to begin with.

Research shows that the sound of a child whining is the single most distracting sound in the world, so it is completely understandable when a mom loses her … stuff when her kid keeps whining. (I’ll explain why losing it isn’t a good idea, however.. keep reading).

Reasons your child may whine:

Your child might whine because they:

• feel like they need help
• are hungry, thirsty, tired, etc.
• need to feel a connection.
• can’t properly express their feelings.
• are feeling overwhelmed.
• have been taught that they will get their way.

How to Stop Your Child’s Whining

1. Figure out what makes them whine.

Is it that they feel they aren’t being heard? Maybe it’s during a certain time of day that the whining occurs, and they are tired at that particular time (i.e. after school, before bedtime). Try to figure out your child’s patterns of whining, and it will give you a clue as to how to stop the whining.

2. Remind them to take a breath and refocus.

Our children are still learning to control their emotions, and if they are feeling negative feelings, their initial reaction may be to whine. It’s our job to teach them to regulate those feelings and handle them in a positive way.

To help them real in those overwhelming feelings you should:

• remind them to take a deep breath and release it slowly
• breath with them, continuing slowly until they’ve begun to calm down
• look them in the eyes and ask them to use their words and tell you what they need
• if they still can’t calm down, allow them to find a quiet place to gather their bearings before rejoining
• avoid getting angry, as it only makes it worse

3. Respond in a non-reactive way to stop your child’s whining.

When you react in a non-reactive way (that was a bit of a contradiction on my part, huh?), you will acknowledge your child, but you won’t acknowledge how the whining makes you feel. You won’t let your child in on the fact the whining does bother you, because that is what they are looking for. Instead, try saying things such as:

• “I can’t understand what you’re saying when you use your whining voice.”
• “Could you please say that more clearly?”
• “I can’t hear you when you whine that way.”
• “I would love to help you when you decide to use your words.”

If these types of phrases don’t work, just walk away. It may be hard to do but, if your child knows they won’t get attention for behaving in that way, it’ll get them to stop whining. You have to stick to it, however, in order to teach them to stop.

4. Give positive attention before they start to whine.

When kids whine it is oftentimes because they feel they aren’t being given attention. To children, negative attention is better than no attention at all. To get ahead of whining and prevent it from happening, make sure you spend some time each day giving your child positive attention. Make sure they know they are wanted and loved and noticed.

5. Make sure all of their needs have been met.

If your child whines at a certain time each day, think about what could be wrong that triggers the whining? Are they hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Think of the basic needs before trying to stop them in any other way.

6. Acknowledge and support your child’s feelings.

Sometimes our kids feel like their feelings aren’t understood. This can really be an issue if you say things like, “you have nothing to be crying about!” or, “get it together. the way you’re feeling is unacceptable”.

Our kids are still learning how they are supposed to feel and how they are supposed to behave when they feel a certain way. Instead of telling them that their feelings are wrong, say something like “I can see that this made you frustrated/sad/angry/etc., can you tell a deep breath and tell me how I can help?”

7. Respond to your child when they are speaking to you – even if you know that you will say no.

Don’t just ignore your child. When a child feels that they aren’t being heard, they will whine. So, if you have to say ‘no’ to your child and know that they will whine either way, just get it over with and answer them so you both can move on with your day.

If it isn’t a yes/no question, respond to their question or comment as best as you can. Ignoring them will only make the situation worse, leading to whining, and even extending whining for longer periods of time.

8. Take your child aside and find a quick way to connect with them.

Sometimes kids just need a “re-start”, so to speak. They may feel like they’re losing their connection to you when you’re out and about or when you’re busy with something. If you see that they are struggling, take them aside and help them reconnect and refocus.

You can do this by making them laugh, smile, or just by letting them cry in your arms if their feelings are that overwhelming. Just help them through their moment and the whining will likely subside.

9. Getting frustrated won’t stop your child’s whining.

This only fuels the fire. If your kid sees that their whining is getting a reaction out of you, they’ll only continue the behavior. Set an example and keep it together (I know, it’s so hard sometimes) as best as you can.

Final Thoughts On How to Stop Your Child’s Whining

Whining kids is overwhelming for the parent or caregiver, and it can be so tempting to just give in to what your child wants just to make them stop. This isn’t going to help, however, as it just teaches them that whining works to help them get their way.

Instead, using these 9 tips to stop your child’s whining, you should be able to lessen the problem or eliminate it completely. It can be hard to figure out what to do when your child won’t stop whining, but there is a solution.

Do you have a child who whines? What do you do to stop it? Tell me about it in the comments!