There’s nothing more important nor nerve-wracking than becoming a new parent. After all, now you are responsible for new life and have to raise and care for that new life. Your baby has to learn everything about being a little person, and hopefully do so well. It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed by the task in front of you, but you must believe in yourself.
The secret? You’re more than enough to achieve your goals as a fantastic parent.
That may seem like a platitude in your weaker moments but don’t worry. Everyone has them and moves past them. In fact, the sense that you’re worried means that you care, and so that’s actually a great sign that your heart is in the right place. Worrying about being the best parent for your kids wouldn’t even cross your mind if you didn’t utterly love them.
So, let’s consider how to believe in yourself as a new mother. We hope this guide can be practical and helpful for those who may experience nerves post-pregnancy.
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First, Make Sure You’re Healthy
Before giving any special advice about “trusting yourself” or “giving yourself the benefit of the doubt,” it’s essential to make sure your feelings of worry or ennui aren’t chronic or related to difficulties experienced. Post-natal depression can sometimes creep up on new mothers without them realizing its warning signs.
As such, voice any concerns to your doctor, pediatrician, or midwife. You’re not taking up too much space, and it’s not selfish to ask for the help you need. Further support resources and medical care are available for you. If you feel that could help, always exercise this tip before anything else on this list, and you’ll find the support you deserve.
It’s Okay To Use Assistance & Guides
It’s easy to think that everything in motherhood should come naturally to you as if you gain a sixth sense for everything child-rearing before you need advice. That’s not true. It’s okay to feel relatively bemused about your next step, and you’re not a worse mother for it.
Assistance and guidance can be helpful throughout the entire process of raising a child. For instance, this excellent guide to caring for a 6 month old baby is just as important as wondering what the most appropriate age for your child to have their ears pierced. Don’t think you have to figure out everything on your own. That goes against common wisdom and won’t make you into someone who “should have known this already.”
Celebrate Those Small Victories to Believe in Yourself
Motherhood is quite a big task, as is raising children. It is true whether you’re a stay-at-home mother or you have a job. Raising a child can often seem like a very intensive routine set of tasks, but the truth is despite those tasks sometimes seeming monotonous, each one is essential to complete.
Celebrating the small victories can be a big help. Did you go to the store without your child getting upset in their seat? Did you manage to fit in a nap during your infant’s nap, helping to supplement your sleep schedule? Have you noticed your child has just started mouthing and mumbling sounds, indicating that their first word should be coming soon?
Give yourself credit for these small wins and appreciate them for what they are. They are real achievements as you raise your child bit by bit.
It’s Okay To Make Mistakes
No parent is perfect. While it’s true that some mistakes should be avoided – for instance, caregiving duties are hardly something you can afford to “get wrong,” mistakes aren’t something you have to lambast yourself for.
Parenthood has a steep learning curve that constantly renews itself as your child gets older and more independent. Learning to manage your energies and understanding your boundaries can help. You’ll also want to consider how you share the duties with your partner and how to build resilience.
It’s okay if you feel a little upset and need to cry in the car for a few minutes when things get hard. It might happen when your child gets sick and cries loudly during your grocery store trip. It’s okay to feel that nothing short of perfectionism is acceptable, even though that’s not true. Just shake it off, give yourself some credit, and understand that parenthood is a big responsibility. It’s okay to take it day by day.
Keep A Diary or Journal
If you have time (it’s okay if you don’t!), keeping a diary or journal can be informative and gives you a place to vent without worry. Even if you only write a few days a week, it can help you keep up with your emotions. It helps you identify how you’re feeling, your challenges, reminders, and problems you hope to resolve, such as a lack of sleep you need to talk to your doctor about.
Reading back over this diary can show you how much you’ve learned about being a parent over the years. Moreover, you’ll be able to see the pursuits you have and are still yet to achieve. Over time, this time dedicated to expressing your thoughts shows you’re not so bad of a parent. It’s nice to confirm that through your own thought process over the years.
Prioritize Self-Care so You Can Believe in Yourself
It’s a simple insight that helps us suggest this to you – when you care for yourself, you continue to define yourself as someone worth caring for. It’s easy to let yourself slide on self-care when you have someone to look after. You no doubt believe that your child is more important than you are and any parent of worth will think that.
However, providing the best care is hard if you’re not in your best state of mind or physical condition. That’s why it’s essential to have non-negotiable periods of de-stressing (even if that means reading a chapter or two before heading to bed). You can ask your parents or relatives for help when you need it, and catch up on your sleep when you can.
Also, don’t forget to treat yourself. Something as simple as a nice bath bomb that fizzes and explodes with floral splendor can be wonderful when enjoying “me time”. Self-care isn’t just a luxury but a solemn duty you must keep up with in parenthood. Express that to your partner and ensure they’re doing the same thing.
Learn To Trust Yourself
Trusting yourself most often comes when you do what you say you’ll do. When you say you’ll do something, you should prioritize making it happen. Consider keeping a calendar and schedule with a routine you follow. I swear by using my planner to write all appointments, playdates, and other commitments so I don’t forget anything.
The more you keep up with your household and childcare tasks, the more you’ll learn to trust your approach and judgment. It sounds a little odd to say, but in this way, for many women having children is a continual confidence-building exercise. When their child grows up, they are better, stronger, more adaptable, and more resilient people.
It’s important to give yourself credit for that. If not, let us give you the credit for it right now. You’ve got this!
Recap: Believe in Yourself
With this advice, we hope you can continue to believe in yourself as a new mother. Not because this is something you trick yourself into but because it’s right, true, and necessary.
