Tag: marriage

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Adulting How To Learning Life Marriage Parenting

How To Do Right By Your Family

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Making long-term life decisions can be a very tough task, no matter how old or experienced you may be. Life is unpredictable, and 2020 is perhaps one of the crowning examples of that. However, it’s important to figure out how to do right by your family by coming to the best decision.

These long-term decisions could be anything from where you should live to where you should send your children to school. Even though making the decision might be stressful, it’s important to do it in the right way.

If you find yourself in a situation where you know you’ll be taking care of your parents as they age, have a discussion with your partner and parents to determine how to approach your combined futures. Caring for older adults in the same home may require moving to a new home or using a company such as Home Elevator Service to install an elevator in your existing home to help with mobility and independence. Regardless of what you decide together, communication is essential.

You can’t simply do what other families are doing. Remember that what is right for most people may not be right for you and your family.

While this article may offer insight and give tips, you still have to figure out for yourself what is best. You can only define that for yourself, but the following principles may help you along the way.

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How to do Right By Your Family

Consider all Options

Determine which risks are involved with each decision. No matter how small the risk is, each decision you make carries one. Then, you have to consider how those risks might express themselves and how you can limit them.

If you can achieve that way of thinking, then odds are you’ll be more forthright in coming to a conclusion.

What’s Right For Them Now, And In The Future?

It’s important to consider what might be right for your family now and in the future. Those two things aren’t always so apparent. However, thinking along a timeline can help you make those decisions.

Perhaps you might wish to move but if you wait a year, you can have better options. Maybe waiting a year will give you a chance to find a good school for your kids.

It could be that you wish to move to a rural area, but when your children become teenagers, what if they need to find a job? Questions like this can help direct your actions.

Consider Your Finances

When you are trying to do right by your family, you have to think financially, too. After all, you have to be able to support them.

Maybe you could consider debt discharge with DTSS Restoring America’s Freedom. This could help cut back on monthly payments.

Additionally, you may want to consider finding a new job in a new area. If jobs are hard to come by in that area, you can consider making money online. You could start a blog, find freelance work, or find other remote jobs.

You can’t wait until after you’ve made a long-term decision to think about finances. Whatever is the best way forward, planning financially will help you. You have to be able to balance that alongside your perspective timeline.

Staying Unapologetic About Your Choices

There are no one-size-fits-all solutions for all families. What works for your family may not work for another. This is why it’s important to stay unapologetic about your decisions, and instead focus on what’s right for your family.

Studies show that families who stop comparing themselves to others tend to be happier. By staying unapologetic, you will be able to avoid the comparison trap. When you begin apologizing and explaining yourself, however, it can make you feel differently.

do right by your family, making long-term decisions, help making decisions, family decisions, big changes for families

Balance Needs, Priorities, And Benefits For All The Family

To the extent that you can, it’s important to balance the needs of all of your family members. Perhaps you wish to move to an area near a brilliant art school, but it requires an hour’s commute to reach anything else. This will be inconvenient for you, and can also cause problems for your teenagers.

Maybe you’re considering a move, but the unpredictability caused by Covid makes it best to wait. Whether this is due to a lack of job prospects or concerns with schooling, it is important to consider.

Another priority to consider is your extended family. If you are close to them, consider how often you would be able to see them. This could be an important factor that should be discussed.

When you balance the needs of your family, you can come to the best compromise. You may not be able to make everyone happy, but it’s important to consider all aspects.

Remember That You are Doing What is Best

Be confident in your ability to do right by your family. As long as you follow these tips and consider all aspects of the decision, you will be just fine. It’s normal to question yourself but, at the end of the day, know that you are doing your best.

do right by your family, making long-term decisions, help making decisions, family decisions, big changes for families
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Adulting How To Life Marriage

3 Special Things to Do For Your Husband Right Now That Will Draw Him Closer

Things to do for your husband, marriage, how to make your marriage stronger, grow closer, relationship, keep the spark alive, how to connect with my husband
Things to do for your husband, marriage, how to make your marriage stronger, grow closer, relationship, keep the spark alive, how to connect with my husband
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Life can sometimes get busy and stressful, and you may end up feeling a little disconnected from your husband. He sometimes feels the same way when life becomes overwhelming. In times like these, it’s important to a few special things to do for your husband.

This isn’t to say you should interfere with your wellbeing to try and please him. Instead, it means looking for ways to draw the two of you closer so you both feel connected. It can strengthen your relationship and help you get through the stressful times together while also ensuring your marriage lasts.

Men can be quite an annoying puzzle to unlock, though. They’re very straightforward, but a little confusing at the same time. As easy-going as the majority are, it can be quite difficult to unlock them and get them to smile sometimes! The good thing, however, is that it’s not exactly the most challenging thing to do in the world.

Let’s say that you’ve got your man locked in and he’s all yours. That’s still not enough, though, right? You can be head-over-heels in love, but you still need to work on things and continually improve your lives individually and collectively.

If you’re standing still in this world, then you might as well be going backwards. You should always be looking to keep that spark alive and that fire burning. If you’re wondering how you can keep him obsessed with you and keep him comfortable with being around you, then here are a few things you can do:

Allow Him To Open Up

Men notoriously do not talk about their problems. They also don’t really talk about things they like either – they’re an odd bunch who prefer to stay quiet and stoic.

Obviously, they’re not all this way, but the majority like to stick to their guns and be stubborn with their feelings. More and more are opening up, but a lot still want to keep quiet. If you allow him to fully trust you with his words and let him open up, then there will be a lot more value and love between the two of you going forward. 

Things to do for your husband, marriage, how to make your marriage stronger, grow closer, relationship, keep the spark alive, how to connect with my husband

Laugh Together And Share a Good Sense Of Humor

A couple that can laugh together is a couple that is destined to last. By no means is it set in stone that every marriage will contain jokes and laughter, of course, but it certainly helps. Laughter is said to be the best medicine because it can change your mood and the way you view someone. If you can make each other laugh, you’ll stay in love with each other. 

Get Him A Gift Every Now And Again

Doing absolutely everything for them will not increase the levels of attraction and love for one another. It might work for the first couple of months, but that kind of behavior wears thin. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it every now and again, however.

You could get him a video game, a new outfit, or a new electronic he’s been eyeballing. A sentimental gift is a good option, too, or maybe he’s talked about wanting to grow a beard with a beard growth kit.

Whatever you can think of that would make him happy and excited, go with it. The gift itself isn’t the main aspect here – it’s that you listened to them and chose a thoughtful gift.

Even when your relationship is going well, it’s important to devote time and effort to keeping it that way.

Don’t let your marriage lose it’s spark by becoming complacent. Try out these ideas of things to do for your husband to draw him closer. You’ll see how well they work, and your husband will truly appreciate the gestures.

Things to do for your husband, marriage, how to make your marriage stronger, grow closer, relationship, keep the spark alive, how to connect with my husband
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Adulting Marriage Parenting

The Relationship Challenges New Parents Face After the Baby Arrives

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Parenthood can test the strength of many relationships. According to Psychology Today, numerous studies show a decline in marital satisfaction for new parents. Couples often find themselves arguing about money, disappointed in losing their freedom and spontaneity, and too exhausted for any type of intimacy. However, it’s important to open the lines of communication and have patience with each other as you adjust to your new roles as parents. With these helpful tips, you can reconnect with your partner or spouse and still have time for your little one.

**Emily Graham is the creator of MightyMoms.net which offers a wide range of info tailored for busy moms — from how to reduce stress to creative ways to spend time together as a family. She believes being a mom is one of the hardest jobs around and wanted to create a support system for moms from all walks of life.**

How to Ease the Relationship Challenges New Parents Face

Call a Meeting

For the first several months after your baby is born, it might seem like you and your partner rarely see each other. And when you do, it’s all about the baby. Although it’s great that your wee one is your top priority, there are other things in your life that matter too. So, make arrangements to have a brief meeting once a week over coffee in the kitchen or a glass of wine before bed to get on the same page about finances, household chores, doctor’s appointments, and other family issues. If you take a few minutes to talk about these things once a week, you won’t find yourself bickering about them later. Talking about these things at your meeting will also allow your date nights to be free of these types of discussions.

Schedule Date Night

Speaking of date night, it’s important to make plans with each other once a week as a couple if possible. Date night doesn’t necessarily mean getting a babysitter and going out on the town (though that’s great, if you can swing it). As Kindred Bravely explains, a date night — even at home after the baby’s in bed — can give you the opportunity to spend time together and strengthen your bond. Ordering takeout and snuggling on the couch while watching a movie is a simple date night idea that will help you stay connected with your partner. Put date night on your calendar and treat it as a regular appointment; don’t cancel unless your really must.

Give Each Other a Break

You are both really tired, so give each other a day off. Plan one Saturday a month where your partner is completely free of any baby duties. Then, they should reciprocate on another day where you can have a baby-free day off. This type of “me time” will allow you to sleep in and then handle your errands, relax with a pedicure, or just veg out on the couch binge-watching Netflix. A true break will give you the opportunity to recharge your batteries, and you’ll find yourself becoming a happier and healthier parent and partner.

Meld Your Parenting Styles

According to Verywell Family, couples often disagree on parenting choices. Maybe you think the baby should nap on a specific schedule every day, while your partner firmly believes the nap schedule should be more flexible. Instead of arguing, you need to communicate and negotiate with each other to figure out what’s best for your family. Try your best to avoid criticizing and playing the blame game. If you begin to repeatedly argue about how to raise your baby, don’t snap at each other all the time or start to feel resentful. Instead, Everyday Health recommends taking a parenting class or seeing a counselor to learn how to meld your parenting styles.

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Final Thoughts On Relationship Challenges New Parents Face

Having a baby is wonderful, but becoming new parents can also be exhausting and damaging to your relationship as a couple. A lack of sleep, little or no sex, and conflicts over parenting strategies and other issues can leave new parents feeling disconnected and drained. According to the American Psychological Association, if you are not satisfied with your relationship with your partner, it can also have negative mental health consequences on your children. However, by communicating openly and carving out couple time, you’ll be able to build an even stronger relationship and become the best parents you can be.

**Photo via Pexels

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Adulting Marriage

A Letter To My Husband

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**This letter is what I wrote to my husband for Day #1 of The 30 Day Marriage Challenge**

Hey you,

Life hasn’t always been perfect or easy for us, has it? We always make it through, though, and come out stronger than before. It’s what we do.

That’s the reason I know we are meant to be together, babe. No matter what life throws our way, we get through it together. No matter the obstacle, we stick together and never stop loving each other.

a letter to my husband, husband and wife, marriage

We never give up on us.

Each bad time we go through is worth it. The good times make everything worth it. Your touch, your smile, your laugh, the way you care about me and take care of me… how did I ever get so lucky? How could I ever give it up?

When I’m with you, I know that whatever happens, you’ll take care of me. You’ll keep me safe and help me through anything. When you are around, I know that I matter.

I’m in love with you and this crazy life we have built together, babe. I love the way we grow together, learn together, and change together. Instead of letting life’s obstacles pull us away from each other, we always do it all together.

I wouldn’t want to go through this journey without you. You’re my best friend and my soulmate.

I never want to experience anything without you by my side. And those rare times when you aren’t there with me, I spend my time wishing you were there to share the experience with. It’s all I want in life.

More than anything, I hope I make you happy. I hope you never find yourself regretting our life together, or even wishing you could be somewhere else. I hope you always know how much I love you, even on the days when I’m being difficult and unreasonable.

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Thank you for all that you have given me… beautiful children, the chance to experience true love, a happy life, a full heart, the home we live in, and all the other things you have provided for us.

You are an amazing husband, daddy, and provider. I love how hard you work for us, and I appreciate it and am so grateful always.

I love you babe, and I’m so excited about the rest of our lives.

XOXO,

Your Wife

**This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing extra, but I may receive a small commission.**

The day I gave him this letter we had a relaxing day at home, and I pulled out this game (not really a game… more of an activity, I guess?) that I bought for us. It was so much fun and really got us talking and laughing together with nothing but these simple cards. It’s a memory that will stay with me forever.

What would you write in a letter to your husband or wife? Tell me about it in the comments!! Better yet, join my marriage challenge and write them a letter for day 1!

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Holiday On My Mind

28 Life Lessons in 28 Years

life lessons

I turned 28 on the 11th (and my baby turned 2 the same day!!) and I spent quite a bit of time reminiscing and reflecting on the past years of my life. With the reflection came some of the life lessons I have learned along the way. There have been so many events in my past that I always think I would want to go back and change but, if those events never happened, I wouldn’t have been able to learn these lessons. So, I guess I should say that I am thankful for the “bad” events in my life since they have guided my learning and living.

I want to be able to remember and recall these lessons quickly if need be. When I am having a bad day or beating myself up about something, I would love to be able to come back here, reference this post, and remember all of the things I’ve learned along the way. So, without further ado, here are 28 life lessons that I have learned in the past 28 years.

Life Lessons I Have Learned

1. You have to learn to love yourself.

2. You have to learn to admit when you are wrong.

3. If you realize something isn’t working for you, it’s OK to change your mind.

4. The opinion of others SHOULD NOT MATTER.

5. You have to say no sometimes.

6. You must communicate with your partner.

7. Being “ready” is impossible.

With all things in life, you will never be completely ready. For a baby, marriage, a new job, etc. You just have to have faith and jump in, ready or not, when life throws huge events your way. If you spend your time waiting until things are perfect or waiting to feel completely comfortable, you will never be able to get things done.

8. Friends are important, even if you are in a relationship.

9. You are harder on yourself than anyone else is.

10. Your past doesn’t define who you are now.

You should consider this when you are thinking of yourself, but also when you are thinking of other people. Everyone deserves a second chance.

11. Mental health and self-care should be a top priority.

I cannot stress this one enough. I spent too much time putting everyone else first when I desperately needed to think of my own well-being. Spending some time taking care of myself and doing things that I enjoy, as well as doing things to promote positive mental health (such as supplementing with natural remedies such as turmeric) all helped along the way.

12. Be honest with yourself and others.

Speaking of mental health, mine stands in the way of my honesty sometimes. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes when I say that I am “busy”, I’m really not. I sometimes despise myself for this, but it is easier (at the time), than saying that my depression/anxiety is standing in the way of my social life and that I just want to hibernate in my home until I’m feeling better.

Taking the easy way out may seem like the best option, but it really isn’t. People who truly care about you will understand what you are feeling, and they will respect you for being honest about why you can’t hang out or show up to an event.

13. Stop comparing yourself to others!!

14. Don’t lose your cool when people are looking.

15. Stop wishing your life away.

16. Appreciate the people who are honest with you.

Even if you don’t want to admit the truth.

17. Having kids is HARD, but so fulfilling.

18. There comes a point in life when age really is unimportant.

My husband is 11 years older than me, and we are truly perfect together.

19. Don’t settle!

Jobs, relationships, big investments, etc. Be patient until you find the perfect one for you.

20. Help others whenever you can.

21. You have to be your own person outside of your relationship.

Continue pursuing your own hobbies. Don’t let go of everything you love to do what your partner likes to do.

22. The worst that can happen is that they say no.

23. Avoid debt of all kinds.

24. Follow a budget!!!

25. Co-Parenting is HARD, but it does make life easier.

Happier kids, less stress, and just a more relaxed situation overall.

26. Never take out a student loan.

I learned this a little too late, and my job doesn’t even require a degree. I would take a pay cut if I took a job that I would need my degree for. Now, I have student loan payments monthly for pretty much the rest of my life.

27. Simplicity is key.

28. Children’s artwork DOES count as home decor.

life lessons

Life Lessons From My Husband

My husband wanted to offer some of his own life lessons, which are really helpful. Or something.

  1. Don’t zip your pants zipper too quickly.
  2. Do not lick a frozen pole.
  3. Don’t go chasing waterfalls. (Courtesy of TLC)
  4. Don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys. (Courtesy of Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson)

Final Thoughts On 28 Life Lessons in 28 Years

Most of the lessons I’ve learned in life were learned the hard way. I’m sure many of you can relate to at least some of my mistakes.

I know that I’m missing some key lessons, so I’m sure I can relate to some of yours as well!! Leave a comment and let me know some of the life lessons you’ve learned in your years on this earth.

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Marriage Printables

30 Day Marriage Challenge: 30 Days to a Stronger Marriage

30 day marriage challenge

A marriage can never be too strong, so I have created this 30 Day Marriage Challenge for ALL couples… ones who are at a good place in their relationship and those in a marriage that needs a little work. You don’t have to be in a bad place in your relationship to strive to make the marriage stronger.

I created this 30 Day Marriage Challenge to be a better, more attentive, intentional, loving, thoughtful wife. Will you join me in this challenge? If you want to be a better wife or husband, download the free printable and start tomorrow! It doesn’t matter what day you start on, as long as you start with day one and cross the days off as you go on.

***This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing extra, but I may receive a small commission.***

30 Day Marriage Challenge

1. Write a love letter to your partner. 

In the letter, tell your spouse whatever you want them to hear. Tell them how much you love them, what you love about them, where you want your relationship to go, your hopes for the future, etc. Just speak from your heart. If there are specific issues within your marriage, you can even write about those, too. Try to keep the letter positive, even when addressing issues. You can read the letter I wrote to my husband HERE.

2. Make your partner’s favorite meal.

Does your husband or wife like breakfast or dinner better? Maybe they prefer brunch? Whatever it is, cook their favorite meal for them! Do the prep work, the cooking, and the cleanup. Let them know you are thinking of them and want them to enjoy their meal without any effort on their part.

3. Clean the house on day three of the marriage challenge.

Everyone loves a clean house, but sometimes, it’s just hard to get it cleaned (especially when you have kids) and keep it that way. For me, this means stressing about how messy the house is but never getting the time to clean the house. I’m sure it’s the same way for my husband. For this challenge, clean the home for your partner. Don’t make them do any of the work, and let them enjoy having a clean house (even if it’s just for a day). They will feel less stressed as they settle in to relax. 

4. Plan a date night out. 

Take care of all the details for a successful date night. If you’re on a budget, search for free options in your area. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on a fun night or evening out. Just make sure you plan something that your spouse will enjoy. Don’t forget to make a plan for a babysitter, if needed, too.

5. Tell your partner how you feel about them. 

Don’t just say, “I love you,” to your partner. Go in-depth and pour your heart out. The goal is to make sure your spouse knows how important they are to you.

6. Thank your partner for all they do. 

Does your husband or wife work hard to provide for your family? Is your partner a stay-at-home parent who handles raising the kids and running the house? Does your spouse work super hard to update the home or keep everything maintained? Whatever your husband or wife does for the family, let them know how grateful you are. You can tell them by saying it aloud, or you can do something special like make them a card or buy a small gift.

7. Turn off electronics for the night. 

Give your spouse your undivided attention by turning off all electronics. When you don’t have the distraction of electronics, it will help you focus your attention on them without occasionally looking down to check your text messages or Twitter feed. It’ll stop the chime of your phone from interrupting a conversation or cuddle session, too.

30 day marriage challenge

8. Tell your partner three things you love about them. 

I always appreciate hearing what my husband loves about me, so I assume he would feel the same way. You can make your partner’s day by telling them the things you love about them. On day number eight of the marriage challenge, spend some time thinking of meaningful things you could mention.

9. Wake up early and have coffee together on day nine of the marraige challenge. 

Sometimes early mornings are the only time my husband and I have together. I’m often tempted to sleep in while he gets ready for work and heads out, but it’s always a good time for bonding when I wake up early with him. Having a cup of coffee together in the morning makes both of our days better.

Love coffee? Check out this coffee subscription box that I love!

10. Compliment your spouse.  

I think many spouses forget to compliment their partner. We become so accustomed to seeing that person every day that we sometimes take them for granted. If your husband looks especially good today, tell him. Likewise, if your wife’s hair looks great, let her know. Whatever it is, tell your spouse when they look good.

11. Get dressed up for your partner.

You don’t have to go as far as a suit and tie or fancy dress (unless your situation calls for that), but look good for them! Put on an outfit you know they love on you, do your hair, and wait for them to get home for the day. They’ll be thrilled to walk in the house to their partner looking put-together for no reason at all, and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.

12. Talk about your favorite memories together.

Spend some time reminiscing with your spouse. Talk about all of your favorite memories that involve the two of you together. For my husband and I, these talks go back to the beginning of our relationship. We love talking about the things we did before we had kids, and it reminds us of who we were when it was just the two of us. 

13. Give your partner a massage.

Everyone likes a massage, and the physical contact will make you feel closer to one another. Who knows, maybe they’ll return the favor. Want to make it even more special? Use massage oils! You can find them with essential oils or scents that help with relaxation, like lavender massage oil. **click the link for the one I use.**

14. Kiss your partner first thing after work. 

I’m a stay-at-home mom, and my husband works a full-time job. I’m always happy to see him when he gets home from work, but lots of times I’m in the middle of changing a diaper, breaking up a toddler fight, cleaning a mess, doing dishes, or cooking dinner. I’ll shout out, “Hey babe!” and continue doing what I’m doing while he gets settled. It isn’t until he comes to me that I kiss him some days. With this challenge, I’m going to kiss him the minute he walks through the door. Making it a priority means I’ll stop whatever I’m doing, greet him at the door, and give him a big kiss.

15. Praise your spouse. Marriage Challenge Day 15 

Did your spouse fix something around the house or make the kitchen look amazing? Did they help you wash the kid’s stroller that you’ve planned to do? Are they playing a game with the kids? Praise them for it. 

Adults appreciate praise just as much as kids do, but adults don’t give it to one another as often. Tell your spouse when you think they did a good job. 

16. Send flirty text messages throughout the day. 

My husband and I used to do this often when we were first dating/living together. Not so much anymore, though. Now we (or I) send messages like, “OMG, WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?! THESE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!” There’s nothing flirty about that, and it’s probably making him dread the moment he walks in the door. For day 16, I will make it a point to send him flirty text messages instead and avoid the negative texts.

17. Bake your partner’s favorite dessert.

If you can’t bake or don’t have the time, you can buy your partner’s favorite dessert. It’s all about the thought here and letting your spouse know you’re thinking of them. Go out of your way to put a smile on their face.

18. Plan a movie night and watch your spouse’s favorite movie.

Yes, watch their favorite movie even if you hate it. Prepare your spouse’s favorite movie snacks, get comfortable, and settle in for a night of your partner’s favorite movie.

19. Pack your spouse a lunch and slip a love note inside.

Just a short, cute little message to let them know you are thinking of them, even if it just says I love you.

20. Give your spouse two hours of alone time.

During these two hours, they get to do whatever they want. Take the kids (if you have kids) and get them out of the house.

21. Create a playlist of your special songs. 

Remember the song you first danced to when you were dating? Or the song you used to listen to in the car while driving around? Add those to the playlist! Add your wedding songs and whatever other songs are meaningful to your relationship. Ours aren’t all love songs, so don’t feel like the whole playlist must be mushy, slow songs.

22. Take over a task you know your spouse doesn’t like. 

If your husband or wife is in the middle of doing dishes and you know they hate that chore, take over. Tell them to go sit down and let you do it for them because what better way to show that you care about the things they like or don’t like? If my husband did this for me, he would be taking over bathing the babies, for sure.

23. Surprise your spouse with their favorite treat or drink. 

My husband LOVES Slurpees from 7-11, so I’ll be making a trip to 7-11 for a Slurpee on day 23 of the marriage challenge. I might pick up a Snickers bar, too. The treat and drink don’t have to be anything fancy, just something you know your spouse will appreciate and enjoy.

24. Spend time just kissing.

That’s it. Nothing complicated here. Cuddle up on the couch or lie in bed just kissing.

25. Take cute or silly selfies together.

You don’t even have to post them to social media if you don’t want to. Just have some fun and be silly together. You’ll find yourself laughing by the time you’re finished, and you’ll have a couple of new pictures with your spouse.

26. Plan a successful date night in for this marriage challenge. 

Come up with a fun idea for the two of you to do at home. It can be whatever you and your spouse like to do together. If you need date night ideas, check out my Date Night Ideas post.

27. Learn about your partner’s love language. 

I talk about learning love languages in my post: 11 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage. It is essential to know your spouse’s love language to make sure you show love to them in the way they interpret and understand it best.

28. Ask your spouse what you can do for them. 

Simply ask what they need help with on day 28. This simple question can lighten their load so much. Plus, it’ll make them happy knowing they can count on you.

29. Lay in bed and talk.

When was the last time you did this? Just lay there, pretend you don’t have anything to do, and enjoy each other’s company. Talk about all the things you don’t usually have time for.

30. Work on a project together. 

This project could be big or small. Whatever you want. All that matters is that you work on it together.

**Download 30 Day Marriage Challenge FREE PRINTABLE here**

30 Day Marriage Challenge

So what do you think? Are you going to join me in this marriage challenge? I hope you do! Let me know in the comments, and we can work to hold one another accountable!

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Family Activities Marriage Our Family

South Haven, Michigan – Things to Do

Things to do

If you follow me on Twitter you already know that my husband and I took a trip to South Haven, Michigan this past weekend. It is my favorite place on earth and as soon as my blog makes me rich (hey, I can dream, right?) I’ll be buying a beautiful home there.

I really do love everything about South Haven. The views of Lake Michigan, the clean beaches, the cute little shops in town, the food (oh, the food!!!!), the activities, and the people. The best part is the Lake Michigan sunsets, though. NOTHING in this world beats a Lake Michigan sunset.

South Haven Sunset
Even cloudy, it is still beautiful

People from all over the country visit South Haven. While we were there we met someone from Alaska and another person from Texas. We are lucky that it is less than a 2-hour drive from us, but if you are farther away than us, I promise you it is worth the trip.

We have begun to compile a list of places in South Haven we love and will return to as often as possible, and also a list of places that we weren’t so fond of. I’m happy to say that the “love” list is much, much longer than the other list.

So, if you are visiting South Haven in the future or even if you are just curious about Michigan’s little gem, this post is for you.

***This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing extra, but I may receive a small commission.***

Things to do

Things to do in South Haven, Michigan

  • Watch a sunset over Lake Michigan. I mentioned before that there is NOTHING like a Lake Michigan sunset so, of course, this is at the top of my list. We sit above the beach on a waterproof beach blanket and watch the sunset over the lighthouse. It is so beautiful and so peaceful.South Haven, Michigan
    IMG_7879
  • Swim and hang out at the beach. This should go without saying when you visit a lake town. Get your floaties and boogie boards and head in. Don’t forget to bring a beach chair with you!

  • Try a new restaurant. Every time we go to South Haven we try at least one restaurant that we haven’t tried before. Our favorites are Clementines (for dinner), 3 Blondes Brewing (lunch and drinks), Black River Tavern (dinner and drinks), Golden Brown Bakery (breakfast and coffee), and Chomps Gourmet Hotdogs (lunch).

    We also tried Captain Lou’s, the Idler Riverboat, and Captain Nemo’s (yummy breakfast). Captain Lou’s is is right on the Black River and we got to watch a drawbridge lift up for boats to go through while sitting on their deck. We also tried Venezia Pizza but will probably try Brix Oven next time we go instead. We also want to try Maria’s next time, which is an Italian restaurant that we’ve heard a lot about.

    Clementines South Haven
    Clementines

    Black River Tavern. South Haven, MIBlack River Tavern

  • Go on a boat tour. There are a couple of different options for this. Right on Water St. there is a marina on the black river where they offer boat tours. You can do a daytime one or for $10 more per person, you can do a sunset tour. There is also the Michigan Maritime Museum which offers tours on a “pirate ship”.
  • Wine tasting. There were a couple of wineries I wanted to try but we chose 12 Corners this time. We loved it! My husband usually doesn’t like wine, and he says everything tastes like MD20-20 or something BUT he actually found a couple he liked at 12 Corners!

    It’s right on Pheonix St. and they have a large wine list. The price was $10 for 5 tastes and we got to take the cute stemless wine glasses with us. We also left with a bottle of Beach Cottage Red. Yummmm.

    I’ve been reading about their monthly Wine Club and I’m really thinking about joining… they ship!! I would probably make the trip every 3 months and pick the wine up but they have a bi-monthly shipping option.

  • Beer tasting. So there are quite a few breweries in the South Haven area but we chose 3 Blonds Brewing. I read about them online and had to try it out.

    I normally am not a beer person but I couldn’t pass up on a beer tasting date with my husband. I tasted 3 beers that I LOVED, 1 that I really liked, and the others were IPA’s and apparently, I’m just not a fan (hubby is so disappointed in me). For you IPA lovers, my husband said the IPAs at 3BB are amazing!
    Three Blondes BrewingThree Blondes BrewingHubby @ Three Blondes Brewing

  • Paddleboard or canoe! You can rent these right on South Beach so it’s super easy and convenient.
  • Go shopping. There are SO many cute little shops on Pheonix St. and Quaker St. We always get souvenirs here and quite a few of our favorite restaurants are on the same street.
    South Haven, MI
  • Kal-Haven Hiking Trail. This is a trail that runs from South Haven all the way to Kalamazoo. You can bike or hike. There are so many beautiful stops along the way. I have never completed the trail because I am way too out of shape to hike 32 miles in one direction, but the South Haven part is beautiful.
  • Icecream. Buy your ice cream at South Beach (I recommend the Mackinac Island flavor) and then…
    Ice cream, South Haven
  • Walk to the South Beach Lighthouse. This is our tradition… on our first day, before we even check-in at the place we’re staying, we buy ice cream on South Beach and then walk to the lighthouse while we eat it. It’s so fun and the perfect way to get into relaxation/vacation mode.
    South Haven LighhouseIMG_7747
  • Go see a comedy show or a live band at the Black River Tavern. They have them on Saturday nights and they also have amazing drinks and appetizers. It was the best date night. We had the BEST time ever, laughed so much, and sang along with the band’s songs. Take me back!!

    IMG_7956
    I call this look “beach and booze”

    Things To Do In

You guys, seriously. Please take me back. Our 3 night, 4-day mini-vacation was AMAZING and MUCH needed. We only get away together once a year and while we thought about other places for this past trip (New York City), we couldn’t imagine spending our anniversary trip in any place but South Haven.

Have you ever been to South Haven, Michigan? If so, tell me about your favorite part! If you haven’t been, tell me what you would want to experience the most if you were able to visit. I’d love to hear about it!

**Click here to read about our wedding in South Haven

Categories
Marriage

South Haven Beach Wedding

Chris and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary this past weekend. We got married last year in South Haven, MI and the little town quickly became my favorite place in the world. We were able to have a small beach wedding at a very reasonable price.

As a kid, I dreamed of a big wedding but when the time came and the planning began, I panicked. My anxiety got the best of me and I started stressing out about the wedding before there was even anything to stress about.

I jokingly (kind of) suggested to Chris that we elope. He vetoed that idea because he wanted our parents and our kids, at least, to be at the wedding. BUT he didn’t completely knock the idea of not having a traditionally large wedding.

Researching Low-Key Wedding Options

I began researching some different options and decided that I wanted to get married in a beach wedding on Lake Michigan, no reception or anything. At first, I was worried about what everyone would think but then remembered, our wedding day is supposed to be about US and that would be impossible if I was stressed out and anxious all day.

I found a cute little bed and breakfast in South Haven called Martha’s Vineyard that offered a wedding package… 2-night stay and a private wedding (with a couple other perks as well) and went for it.

In the description on Martha’s Vineyard’s website, it stated that the wedding would be held at the bed and breakfast. I was okay with that but I reaaaallly wanted a beach wedding. I sent an e-mail over to the owner asking if it would be possible. She agreed and made all the arrangements. I literally didn’t have to do anything except bring the marriage license and look nice. Oh and bring the rings, of course.

The Wedding

A handful of our closest family members were able to make it to the wedding. Since we didn’t have a reception, we all went out to eat afterward.

This tiny little low key wedding was SO perfect for us. We have no regrets about our decision.

The wedding was so inexpensive, intimate and personal. Plus, we got to spend the weekend in a beautiful place. Having a 5-month-old baby, I didn’t want to be away for long and definitely didn’t want to travel far so a traditional honeymoon was out of the question, too. The South Haven wedding still gave us the chance to spend relaxing alone time together both before and after the wedding.

We loved it so much we are heading back this coming weekend to celebrate our marriage.

Did you choose to have a big wedding or did you opt for something smaller? If you aren’t married yet, what kind of ceremony do you plan on having? Let me know in the comments!


*If you want to know how we made it through the first year of marriage, consider checking out these posts: 10 Steps to Make Your Marriage Last, How to Keep the Spark Alive *

Categories
Marriage

11 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage

As time goes by, the spark you and your partner had in the beginning may fade. Life gets so busy and repetitive that we sometimes forget to make time to keep the spark alive. It really doesn’t take that much time, though, and can be so beneficial to your relationship.

Whether you and your spouse have already lost the spark or if you are just afraid of it happening, here are 11 ways to keep the spark alive or bring the spark back.

I promise it’s easier than it sounds so just read these and try to implement them in your daily lives.

How to Keep the Spark Alive

*This post contains affiliate links*

How to Keep the Spark Alive (or get it back)

Show them love, all day. 

This starts in the morning. Smile and kiss them (yes, even with morning breath) as soon as you wake up next to them in the morning. Let them know you’re happy to wake up next to them. Do things like this throughout the day.

Hug, hold hands, and kiss often: How to Keep the Spark Alive

These are simple actions that can make so much of a difference. You’ll feel more connected to your spouse when you hold hands, kiss, or hug. Do it in the car, while sitting on the couch, when you walk past each other in the hallway, and any other time your hands are free or you can lean in for a little kiss. Do it whenever there is an opportunity. If you do, that spark is sure to stay (or come back).

Do little things for each other. 

Make the coffee if you get to the kitchen first. Send a cute text message to tell your spouse you are thinking of them if you’re away all day. Take over with the kids if they’ve had them all day. Make dinner. Get them a drink. It’s easy to be thoughtful.

Tell them when they look hot! 

Letting your spouse know that you’re still attracted to them is definitely an easy way to help keep that spark alive (or bring it back).

Don’t wear sweatpants every day.

I know, I know .. we all want to. Think back, though, did you wear them all the time at the beginning of the relationship? I know I didn’t! When my husband fell in love with me I dressed cute in things that flattered me, wore makeup, and did my hair. Now, obviously I don’t do these things EVERYDAY but I do make sure I do it often.

Cuddle. 

Even if it’s just for 2 minutes in between the kids asking for something. Even that short amount of time lets your partner know you’re wanting to spend time and love on them, and it’s also a nice reminder to you of how much you need that.

Ask about their day – How to Keep the Spark Alive

It lets them know you care. Listen to how their day went and ask more questions as necessary. If they’ve had a rough day ask if there is anything you can do to make it better. Be that person for them.

Random touches. 

When you walk past your partner in the kitchen, touch them when you do. Even if it’s just a slight rub on their arm or a hand around their waste. Again, these little things are necessary.

Sex. 

This one is obvious but so important. Your spouse needs to connect with you on this deeper, more intimate level.

Appreciate your spouse – How to Keep the Spark Alive

Tell them how lucky you are to have them, or thank them for doing the dishes.

Laugh together.

Watch a comedian, play a funny game, or watch funny YouTube videos together. Nothing can lighten up a relationship like a good laugh.

I know this was only supposed to be 11 ways to keep the spark alive, but I’m giving you a BONUS suggestion. 

Learn your spouse’s love language. 

We all have different love languages and it’s so much easier to give your spouse the love they NEED when you know what their love language is. I’ve read this book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts several times now and I learn something new every time. My husband’s love language is definitely physical touch while I need Words of Affirmation. Check out the book, you won’t be sorry.

Final Thoughts on How to Keep the Spark Alive

Now you don’t have to do all 11 (or 12, I suppose) ideas every single day, just when you get a chance and try to do them more often than not. Don’t let a day go by where your spouse isn’t 100% certain you’re still crazy about them. My husband is the type of person who needs physical touch to feel connected so things like holding hands, kissing, and hugging are so important to him. I’m a talker so I need him to ask/answer questions and just talk to me. Everyone is different so make sure you are aware of what your partner needs when trying to keep the spark alive.

Are there any tips that I missed? What is your favorite tip that I gave? Tell me what you think in the comments! 🙂

How to Keep the Spark Alive
Categories
Marriage

10 Steps to Make Your Marriage Last

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest and if that is true, my husband and I will do alright throughout the rest of our marriage. We had some hard times but never anything that we couldn’t work out. My husband Chris and I are coming up on our one-year wedding anniversary and I want to share some of the things we’ve learned so far and the things that helped us connect better.

  1. Communicate – I know this seems obvious but it’s the thing we have struggled with the most. When we fail to tell each other how we are feeling, it gets to the point that we are shouting at each other and making passive aggressive remarks to one another. This obviously isn’t the way to handle issues in a marriage. Luckily, we have learned to tell each other when we are mad, sad, frustrated, hurt, etc. and what exactly made us feel that way. Nothing will get better if you don’t talk about it.
  2. Listen – This one kind of ties into the last one, but it is SO important on many different levels. Yes, you need to listen to your partner when they are telling you how they are feeling and why, but you also need to listen to the things that aren’t so obvious. If you overhear your spouse and they sound like they are having a hard time, step in and help them out. If they are frustrated or overwhelmed with the kids and you can hear that in their voice, take over. Give them a break for a few minutes. If they are feeling stressed out about work and you can hear that in their voice, help them relax. You know how to help them relax or what activities will relieve their stress… help them out. Listen to those tones in their voice and lend a hand when you can.
  3. Learn to bite your tongue – Hubby’s tip. Have you ever said something to your spouse that you regretting? Something that caused an unnecessary argument or made an argument worse? Yeah, we have, too. Work on that. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s essential to making a marriage last. Learn when to stop yourself from saying the first thing that comes to mind. Learn when to just take a deep breath and walk away. Learn to not say things you don’t mean when you’re angry. Ask yourself if it will help the situation. Will it solve the problem?
  4. Cook together – Hubby’s tip. This might be our #1 tip. We bond so much in the kitchen. We listen to music, dance, sing, talk, laugh, and enjoy being together. The kids are sometimes involved… they help with the cooking when they can and they dance and sing when they can’t help with dinner. When we want a little “alone” cooking time, we turn on the kids’ favorite movie or TV show and bond on a more intimate one-on-one level. It has helped us through so many fights and helped us bond during the happier times.
  5. Cuddle – Chris and I are always happier when we cuddle. We feel emotionally connected to one another, reminding us of who we are when it’s just us. Not as parents, but as the people we were before we started focusing all of our attention on the kids. It helps us relax and can ease the tension after a long day, and when I’m feeling anxious, it always helps calm me. For us, there is no better way to bond, either.
  6. Go on dates – This is so important and very often pushed to the side in a marriage. You need one-on-one time with your spouse with no distraction. I need time to remember who my husband was when it was just him and I. The super funny, affectionate man who would always hold my hand and grin at me. This helps me get to know my husband again. Remember that person you started dating all those years ago and fell in love with? Find them again. Go on dates. You can find some free/cheap date ideas here if you need some inspiration.
  7. Do things you don’t want to do – I’m not saying to ignore your wants, but your spouse wants to share the things they love with the person they love. So watch that basketball game, see that movie, listen to that song, and go ice skating or wine tasting if that’s what your partner wants to do. They’ll do the same for you when the time comes, and they’ll see that you are interested in them enough to experience these things that make them happy.
  8. Don’t lose interest in your own interests – While I did just say to do things you don’t want to do… you still have to do stuff YOU want to do alone. If you like to play trivia with your friends, keep doing it! If you want to see a movie with your friend instead of your spouse, do that, too. I like to scrapbook and that’s something I know Chris is just not going to be interested in. I like to do it and I’ve always done it alone while watching TV shows or listening to music, so I still do. It is still important to take time for yourself and do things you enjoy on your own.
  9. Do things to let your spouse know you are thinking of them – So my husband will randomly surprise me with my favorite candy bar or drink, or he’ll make a pot of coffee in the morning even when he doesn’t have time to have any himself. He’ll send me a random text message in the middle of the day to tell me he loves me and I do the same for him. I was at dollar tree and noticed they sold Mr. Pibb and I know that’s Chris’ favorite so I grabbed him a bottle. Just little things like that… they don’t take much effort, but they’re meaningful. It’s like saying, “Hey babe, I was thinking of you today”. It’ll make your partner feel special.
  10. When you are wrong, say so – Admitting that you’re wrong is the first step to working through a problem. Apologize, make it right, make up, and learn from it.

These are the little things that have helped us become closer during our first year of marriage. We are constantly learning and growing, and we have found that focusing on our relationship is just as important as spending time with the kids. It is essential in a marriage to work on the things that harm the relationship, and also on the things that make our relationship better.

Bonus Tips from teenagers – 

  • “Always say 3 kind words a day, besides ‘I love you’. ” – Stevey (Nevaeh’s best friend)
  • “Be loyal.” – Nevaeh 

I know that teenagers haven’t had marriage experience yet (obviously), but I thought it would be interesting to hear what they thought would help a marriage last. They do observe their parents, after all. Plus I thought it could be kind of funny…. this is how their answers really went:

“Umm.. I have one but I don’t know what it is right now” – Stevey
“Nevaeh, do you have a tip?” – Me
“I don’t know… be loyal” – Nevaeh (with complete confusion in her voice about why I’m asking her)
“OK Stevey, got one yet?” – Me
“Yep, it says …” – Stevey
“Wait are you reading this from Google?” -Me
“Yeah. Um, it says “Always say 3 kind words a day, besides ‘I love you'” – Stevey

I tried to google where her answer came from so I could link it but literally, nothing even close came up… lol

 

So now that I’ve told you how Chris and I made it through our first year of marriage, I’d like to hear from you! What is your advice for other married couples? Tell me in the comments! 🙂