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19 Practical Self Care and Me Time Ideas For Adults

Practical Self Care

When life gets busy, it’s hard to find time for practical self care, but it is SO important that you squeeze in a little each day. A couple of hours to yourself is ideal, but sometimes you can only squeeze in 15 minutes at a time. That’s okay! A little time is better than no time at all, and you must make yourself a priority. You can’t give your all to your kids, your partner, your job, etc. if you are not making YOU a priority.

I learned the hard way how important self-care is. I let myself become overwhelmingly burnt out and still refused to do anything about it. The emotional burn-out made me feel grumpy, emotional, short-tempered, and like I couldn’t even accomplish the smallest tasks. Still, I was piling more and more stuff onto my already full plate and couldn’t keep up. I felt like I had no time for myself so I just ignored the need to relax and enjoy ME. It got to the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Finally, I caved and asked my husband to take the kids somewhere for a couple of hours so I could have a break. It was just what I needed. By the time they got home, I was happy to see them and much more rejuvenated. Now I make sure that self care and me-time are a normal part of my life.

Before You Begin Practical Self Care

If you don’t have the option of asking your partner to take the kids, ask a family member or a close friend. If those aren’t options, take the kids to the park all day and wear them out so that they will go to bed quickly and easily. Ignore your usual chores or nightly routine for one night and get that practical self care and me-time you need. You have got to take care of yourself!

Before you start your self-care time, turn your phone off. Don’t let anyone or anything interfere with your time. If you need to leave it on, turn the volume up and leave it across the room or in another room where you will hear it but won’t be so tempted to scroll through social media.

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Ideas For Practical Self Care and Me Time

1. Take a Bath and Pamper Yourself

Run a hot bath, use a bath bomb, light some candles, turn on music, and pour a glass of wine. Put on a face mask, exfoliate, and read a book while you relax. Afterward, paint your fingernails and toenails. By the time you’re done, you will feel so good and relaxed.

Practical Self Care

2. Catch Up On a Favorite TV Show

Take some time to binge-watch your favorite TV show or something you’ve been wanting to try out. Make sure you have some yummy snacks and comfy clothes.

3. Stick to Your Skincare Routine

Practical Self Care

Finding a skincare routine that works for you and makes you feel good is essential. By ensuring you take care of your skin each day, you will experience a boost of happiness each time you do it. Focus on preventing blemishes, eliminating acne scars, and keeping your skin healthy.

4. Spend Time Outside

Garden, go for a walk, lay out in the sun, read a book outside, watch the sunrise or sunset, or simply sit outside and enjoy the breeze. It doesn’t matter what you decide to do out there, just get outside and breathe in the fresh air.

5. Try Yoga to Enhance Practical Self Care

Find a beginner’s video on YouTube or Amazon and give yoga a shot. You could even try to find a beginners class near you, but for me, I have to do yoga when the kids are in bed so *this video* is where it’s at for me.

6. Write in a Journal

Make time every day to write. Write about your day, your feelings, what you’re grateful for, or anything else that comes to mind. The point is to get your thoughts out on paper no matter what they are. You can find super cute journals on Amazon or you can check out your local Target.

7. Cook or Bake While Focusing on Practical Self Care

Take time to make your favorite recipes, or try something completely new. For practical self-care, do your cooking and baking alone instead of with your kids. You can cook with them later, but right now, focus on enjoying your time alone.

8. Relax, Stretch, Take a Nap

Sometimes the best type of practical self care is to spend time relaxing and stretching your body. If you get so relaxed that you feel like taking a nap, do it!

9. Take Yourself On a Date

Do whatever makes YOU happy. Since you’re the only one on the date, you don’t have to worry about anyone else. You can go to a movie, eat at your favorite restaurant, or have a picnic. Make sure it’s a relaxing date!

10. Enjoy Coffee in Peace

For me, this means waking up before my kids and curling up with a hot cup of coffee while I read a book or watch something on TV. Sometimes I sit on our patio and enjoy the cool morning alone.

11. Enjoy the Water

Go to a nearby lake, river, or ocean and just relax. Don’t do anything while you’re there… just be. Spend time meditating or focusing on your breathing.

12. Read a Book for Practical Self Care

Curl up with your favorite blanket or find a relaxing spot outside to read a book. Choose one that helps you relax rather than something that makes you feel anxious or sad.

13. Read a Magazine While Enjoying Your Favorite Beverage

Magazines aren’t as popular as they used to be, but I love to spend time reading them and looking at the pages. I love the Magnolia Journal or Good Housekeeping. There are other magazines that I enjoy, both of those are the ones I regularly have and look forward to.

Then, choose your favorite beverage to enjoy while you browse the magazine. For me, it’s wine, of course.

14. Make a List of Your Goals and Create Vision Boards

Make a list of your short-term or long-term goals. Your goals could be oriented around your career, family, personal life, or home. Whatever it is that will make your life better, begin determining your goals in that area.

Once you have a good idea of your goals, create a vision board. Vision boards will help you remember what you are working toward, giving you inspiration and motivation moving forward.

15. Do Your Make-up

I’m a mom of five kids, so I rarely have time to do a full make-up routine. My daily routine consists of throwing on some mascara in the car when we arrive wherever we are going. I always enjoy having the chance to take my time and do concealer, foundation, powder, eyeshadow, etc. It is one of my favorite “me time” activities.

16. Do Your Hair for Practical Self Care

When I say do your hair, I don’t mean wash and condition it. I mean that you should take your time and do something super cute that you don’t always have the time to do. Or, you can turn it into a challenge and see what you can come up with within 15 minutes or another set timeframe. You never know, you might find your new favorite hairstyle. Pinterest has a TON of ideas to get you started.

17. Choose New Recipes You Want to Shop For

Look through cookbooks or browse Pinterest for a few new meals to try. Make a list and shop for the ingredients on your next shopping trip.

18. Start Planning For the Next Holiday

When you are excited about an event, the planning process will often prolong the joy you feel. Plan the perfect holiday and start getting things ready, even if the event is still a few months away. I always start with a brain dump because it’s easy to get my first thoughts in order that way.

19. Practice Photography

Take your camera or smartphone and go take photos somewhere. Have a little photoshoot of whatever you want to capture. Practice your camera skills and experiment a little so you can unwind and enhance your skill while having fun.

Practical Self Care

Remember, you must take care of yourself to give your all to anything else in your life. Even if you can only take 15 minutes to yourself, squeeze in something that you enjoy.

Practical Self Care

Leave a comment and let us know how you fit practical self care and me-time into your life!

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Adulting How To Life On My Mind

Covid-19: How to Help Small Businesses Amidst the Coronavirus Outbreak

Covid-19, Coronavirus, support small businesses, shop local, help small businesses, small businesses and coronavirus, support the economy, help each other

With all the business shutdowns and event cancellations to prevent the spread of Coronavirus (Covid-19), many small businesses are struggling. This means lost funds for employees and business owners and no income to support their families or pay bills.

For some small business, this means returning deposits received from customers for events that now have to be canceled. This could add up to well over $10,000 in refunds on top of lost gigs and payments.

It can be catastrophic to the small businesses, and may even require business closures. Right now, we should all be coming together to find any possible way to keep them afloat. Not only will we be helping other people during a time of crisis, but we will also be helping our economy.

I know most of us want to help but don’t know how. That’s where I come in! I’ve done some research and spoke to business owners to see what might help them during this time. I hope you will all do what you can, no matter how small.

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How to Support Small Businesses

1. Start booking for next year.

When it comes to wedding DJ’s or photographers, Covid-19 has essentially halted business for them until further notice. With the president saying this could last well into July or August, that cuts out one of the busiest times of the year for them.

Most weddings have well over the recommended limit of 10 people, which means that all weddings will have to be canceled or postponed. Not only that, but with government buildings shut down, no one can even apply for a marriage license now.

This is where the deposits may need to be refunded. Many couples who are affected by this limit on gatherings are going to need their deposits back. So, not only are DJ’s losing out on the payments they would receive on the day of the event, but they also have to dish out tons of money.

With all of that being said, we CAN help them hang on and bounce back when everything is overwith. We can do that by booking our events for next year (2021). When you book with them and make your deposit, you’ll not only be giving them a source of income and giving them job security for next year, but you’ll be helping yourself by getting ahead of the rush.

Just think, some of the brides that have to postpone their dates are going to be re-booking for the following year (we hope), so you’ll not only be competing to book dates with those who will be getting engaged in the next year, but also with those who were already engaged and had to reschedule.

2. Buy gift cards

Right now, only restaurants, nail salons, bars, etc. are closed, but small shops and stores are still open. Unfortunately, since many people are self-quarantined and social-distancing because of Covid-19, those small shops are still down in sales now.

With that being said, all of those places can get by if we all just buy gift cards to their establishments. You can buy them for yourself, since you know you’ll be out and about once this situation is more stable, and you can also buy them for gifts. Plan ahead for Christmas or birthdays and support your local economy at the same time.

3. Help keep the employees healthy

If the business is still open, do your part to keep everyone there healthy. Remember, even if you feel fine, you could still be a carrier of the illness. Make sure you are washing your hands, covering your coughs and sneezes, and staying home if you don’t feel well.

Even more important, if the employee has to come inside your home, take the time before they come to sanitize any surface they may have to touch. Do the same when they leave to protect yourself and your family.

4. See if they offer other services

While even small get-togethers are a no-go right now, you can still book smaller things such as photo shoots. For entertainers such as DJ’s, you could maybe ask if they record music for websites, podcast or YouTube introductions, etc. It is always worth a shot to ask!

5. Hire them to do an interview or write a post

Do you have a blog or podcast? Hire small business owners to come on your podcast and talk about what coronavirus means for their business and what it could mean for the future. If you don’t want to talk about Covid-19, just ask other business questions instead, like how they got started and if they have advice for up-and-comers.

Some small business owners are great writers, too, so they could even potentially do a guest post on your blog. Again, the post could be about this pandemic, or it could be about something completely unrelated.

6. Skip the chains

McDonald’s and Wendy’s are going to be fine. Skip the food chains and head to a local business instead. These are the businesses who will be losing the most since their regular customers can no longer come in and sit down to eat.

Order takeout from them and, if you can, try to tip their waitstaff as if you were sitting down to eat. Remember, they are losing a huge income source, too, and they still have families to feed and bills to pay.

7. Share their social media posts

This is the best way to help a small business during this time. When restaurants post images of their carry out menus, share it even if you won’t be eating there. This way the small restaurant may potentially gain new customers.

For other types of small businesses, share their content to help spread the word about their services. You never know, your share could have a huge impact on a small business.

Covid-19: How to Help Small Businesses Amidst the Coronavirus Outbreak

No matter what your stance is on the actions taken to protect against the spread of Coronavirus, we’re all in this together. If we don’t work together to get through this, it could be bad things for our economy and for local small businesses.

Help one another out, help our economy, and do your part to contribute in a positive way. We can all help small businesses in this time of crisis.

Is there something we can do to help small businesses that I didn’t mention on the list? Leave a comment and let me know!

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Big Kid On My Mind Our Family Parenting

A Letter To My First Born as He Starts Kindergarten – A Moms Honest Emotions

As you prepare to start kindergarten, I think back to your infant days, when you wanted to lie in my arms all day long. It seemed like you were always nursing, always needing me.

Back then, I took it for granted. I complained of being tired, sore, needing a break. Now, I want those days back. I want to hold you for 3 hours straight, cuddled up in our favorite chair.

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You’re off to kindergarten now, buddy.

It’s hard to believe that we are at this point in your life already. I’m sure I’ll feel this way each year, with each new grade, but right now it’s constantly on my mind.

I know you’ll love learning, making new friends, and having fun at school, but I can’t help but be a little sad. You are needing me less and less, I’ll be seeing less of you than ever before, and soon you won’t want to cuddle with me so much anymore.

I know that this is all normal, and it happens to every parent at some point. But, I wish I could be the one that could keep her babies little forever.

In 5 short years, you’ve grown so much and have become your own person, but you’re still mama’s baby. You always will be. I’ll never forget those days when it was just you and I.

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As you start kindergarten, I hope your infectious laugh continues, your kind heart only grows kinder, and you become an even better friend than you already are. I hope you learn so many new things and teach others whatever you can. Most of all, I hope you are happy on your kindergarten adventure.

I know you’ll have to get used to some things, like not having your teddy bear and blanket for an hour each day and not having Fridays off to hang out with me and your siblings and grandma. It’s a new time in your life, and the changes will be huge, but you’ve always been so resilient and open to change. You’ve never had an issue with change, and I am certain that will continue into kindergarten.

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You’re going to impact this world in a huge way, love bug. I wish I could be there for every tiny little moment of it, but we both know that isn’t possible. So, I just want to send some words of wisdom to you:

  • Be kind
  • Respect yourself and others
  • Stick up for those who are wronged
  • Speak up when you see someone being mistreated
  • Spread love
  • Stay true to yourself
  • Have fun
  • Smile and laugh
  • Learn all that you can
  • Try new things
  • Listen to your teacher
  • Be safe
  • Don’t be afraid to join in on the fun
  • Be yourself!
a letter to my child as he starts kindergarten, first born, back to school, kindergarten

I can’t be there with you at kindergarten, but always know that mommy will be here as soon as you get home each day to hear about all the awesome things that happened.

If you didn’t think the day was very awesome, that’s okay too. Mama will be right here to hear all about it and give you a big ol’ hug.

It doesn’t matter how big, responsible, and independent you become, you’ll always be mama’s baby. No matter what grade you go into at school, mama will be here to help you through it all.

You’ll do great, my kindergartner, I know you will.

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Love always,

Mama

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Big Kid Big kid fun Family Activities How To Our Family Parenting Teenager Toddler and Preschool Age Fun

Spring Sports Season: 5 Ways to Survive

spring sports

The moment we have all been waiting for has finally arrived… SPRING IS HERE!! Do you know what tiny little event most of us forgot about? Spring sports season AKA: THE BUSIEST SPORTS SEASON OF THE YEAR.

I am so serious… spring sports seem to be busier than any other season. This may all be in my head (and the yearning for a relaxing summer schedule doesn’t help), but it is a problem none-the-less.

This year has gotten even busier for me since my pre-schooler is signed up for t-ball. So now we have our oldest on the high school soccer team, our 11-year-old playing major league baseball, and our preschooler playing t-ball.

spring sports, how to survive spring sports, spring sports for kids, how to be less busy

How Will We Survive the Spring Sports Season!?

When I realized that we would have so much going on every single day this spring, I began to panic. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t pretty.

Then, after taking a deep breath and reminding myself that I have to do this no matter what, I started brain storming. We have done spring sports every year, the only difference is that this year will be a little (or a lot) busier. I realized I needed a plan.

To start, I started thinking back on our past spring sports seasons and then took notes on the following:

  • The items I commonly found myself needing but didn’t have
  • Our dinner predicament
  • The lack of time I had for anything else in my life (self-care, housework, quality time)
  • How to be in multiple places at one time (impossible, obviously)

From there, I was able to compile a list of ways to survive the spring sports season this year.

spring sports, how to survive spring sports, spring sports for kids, how to be less busy

5 Ways to Survive Your Child’s Sports Season

1. Keep an “emergency” bag in the car full of things you might need.

This bag should contain all of the things you find yourself needing, but you never seem to have with you. I always find myself in this predicament where I’m asking all the other moms for ibuprofen or a jacket. This method doesn’t always work for me, so this season I plan on being ahead of the game.

Some of the things I plan on keeping in my emergency bag are:

  • ibuprofen or Tylenol
  • bottled water
  • snacks (for the kids and I both)
  • a jacket (it gets chilly toward the end!)
  • sunglasses
  • sunscreen
  • small toys for the littles

I plan on keeping this bag in the car at all times, and my goal is to not have to re-pack it each night before heading out.

2. Plan ahead for dinner

I know I’m not the only parent who gets stuck hitting up a fast-food drive thru after practice most nights, right?! I can’t do that again this year! Not only does it leave me feeling like a terrible mom, but it also just makes me feel so unhealthy, bloated, and frustrated with myself.

This year, I plan on using my crock pot for the nights that I know we won’t have time to cook. For other nights, I plan on packing sandwiches and yummy sides to take with us to practice.

Another option is to cook meals that can be reheated the next night for a quick and easy dinner. I plan on using my meal planning printable religiously because sticking to the plan will be so much easier that way.

3. Squeeze in some “free time” whenever you can

OK, I know this might seem impossible, but it is SO important. Self-care is still important, even when your kids’ lives are extremely busy. You have to take advantage when your partner offers to handle all the running around once in a while, or you could ask one of the other moms to pick your child up for practice in exchange for a night where you do the same for her.

Figure something out so that you can get your housework caught up, read a book, watch your favorite TV show, or even take a long shower without interruptions. You can also use this time to spend some quality time with your other kiddos, because quality time can easily be pushed to the back of your mind during this busy time of year.

4. Become comfortable with saying “no”

You don’t have time for everything, and the sooner you admit to that the better off you will be. Be picky about what invitations you are accepting, and be comfortable admitting that you don’t have the time (or energy) to volunteer for a bunch of extra events.

5. Plan carpools with the other parents, or split forces

During the spring sports season you will be spending a large amount of your time with the other sports parents. Chances are, many of them are just as busy as you are this time of year. You can offer the other parents a deal that might just help you both out (and if it doesn’t help them, maybe they’ll just do it to be kind). 

The deal:

You take the kids to practice one night, and the other mom does it the next night.

Now, if this doesn’t work for you, you can always split forces with your child’s other parent. Rotating who will be responsible for practice each night can help with your kids’ overlapping schedules. Parent one will be at baseball practice while parent two will be picking up the teenager from soccer practice, and then rotate the next night.

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Final Thoughts on Ways to Survive the Spring Sports Season

The spring sports season brings so many mixed emotions for me. While it is the busiest time of the year, so chaotic, and a bit overwhelming, it is so much fun to watch my kids doing what they love and making memories that will last forever.

My goal for this year’s spring sports season is to enjoy every bit of it. With these tips, I’m pretty confident it’ll happen. I can use all the help I can get, however, so leave a comment and tell us your best spring sports season hacks.

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On My Mind Parenting

Febrile Seizures – What Every Parent Should Know

One thing I never learned about during pregnancy or even during the toddler years (until now) was febrile seizures. I had literally never heard of them and I read books, articles, pamphlets given by the doctors, and any other baby/toddler related reading material I could get my hands on. I read EVERYTHING. I thought I was so prepared and mostly I have been. Until now.

On Sunday night, my eyes were opened to febrile seizures (also known as fever seizures) when my 1-year-old had a seizure.

All day Sunday Liam had a low-grade fever. 99.4 is the one temperature that I remember. We chalked it up to teething and just tried to keep him inside (the real feel outside was over 100 degrees), keep him hydrated, and give him lots of cuddles. We monitored his fever throughout the day and it never went over 100 degrees. Totally fine, we’ve dealt with that countless times.

Bedtime came along and he went to bed without a problem. Nothing was unusual aside from that low-grade fever that had been lingering all day. I decided to not medicate the fever because it was so low and I really don’t like giving Tylenol or Motrin unless it is completely necessary.

Around 11 pm he woke up screaming. It wasn’t just a fussy little cry that I would normally ignore and let him go back to sleep on his own… it was a scream like something was wrong. I rushed into his bedroom and picked him up out of his crib. He was BURNING UP. I don’t think I’ve ever felt a child so hot before. I yelled for my husband and rushed downstairs to grab a thermometer. As I was taking his temperature, my husband went to get the Ibuprofen because it was obvious he needed something. I took his temp. under his arm and it read 102.6… with that kind of reading you have to add a degree so it was well over 103 degrees.

At the time, I was so worried and wasn’t thinking straight that I didn’t even add the degree, even though I normally would. In my head, his temp was 102.6 and even that worried me. Chris went upstairs to run a luke-warm bath to help cool him down.

I was cuddling Liam and talking to him about taking a bath because that usually makes him smile and cheers him up. I got no response but I kept talking and cuddling. All of a sudden he turned his head and started to shake. It was just a little shake. I remember saying, “oh buddy, you’re really not feeling well, you’re shaking a little”. Still no response from him. The shaking continued and I felt like my heart stopped beating. He was drooling, too. I knew something was wrong, even though the shaking was nothing crazy. It seriously was just a little tremor almost. Before I even said anything or reacted, my step-daughter sat up off the couch with a terrified look on her face and in that instant, I jumped up and started yelling for Chris. He wasn’t hearing me so I ran to the stairs and yelled even louder. He came running out and I said, “take Liam, I need to get dressed. We’re going to the hospital”.

When I came back downstairs the shaking had stopped but now he was just staring off. He literally looked like he was asleep with his eyes open. Chris was frantically trying to get him to respond or even look at us and rushed upstairs to splash water on his face. He was still out of it. All of a sudden, he blinked and turned to look at us. It still wasn’t his normal look, but it was something. We quickly loaded him into his car seat, gave Nevaeh strict instructions on what to do at home and who to call if she needed something (don’t worry, she’s old enough to babysit and both of the other toddlers were sound asleep), and headed to the hospital.

I sat in the backseat with Liam so I could keep an eye on him. I held his hand and talked to him the whole time. He still wasn’t being himself, but he was at least responsive. He wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t smile at me, wouldn’t even say “car, car” like he normally does when we are in the car. It was just a blank look, but he was blinking and looking around so I took it as an improvement.

So – we get to the hospital, told them what was going on and then sat in the waiting room. 15 minutes pass and they call us back to get him registered and take his vitals. At our local Emergency Department, we would usually have to go back to the waiting room after that until a room opened up. This time we didn’t have to do that.

They took his temp and it was 102.9, and that was about 30 minutes after Ibuprofen. Then they checked his other vitals and found that his blood oxygen levels were low and he wasn’t receiving as much room air as normal. They got a room for him immediately, gave Tylenol, and the doctor was in shortly after.

It was determined that he had a febrile seizure, which happens to toddlers when their fever spikes very suddenly. These kinds of seizures can last anywhere from a few seconds to 15 minutes. I honestly couldn’t tell you how long Liam’s lasted because at that moment the last thing I was worried about was watching a clock. I would guess around 3-4 minutes.

After this determination was made, it was time to figure out if something serious was going on. What?! The seizure wasn’t serious!? In my eyes it was, but the doctor said it’s more common than people realize and that since it was short, there wasn’t going to be any long-term effects.

Now, the first thing that popped into my mind was, “If this is so common why have I never heard of it before?!” After talking to several other mom friends, I realized that they hadn’t either!! All of those books and articles and pamphlets and nothing could even warn me that my child may have a seizure caused by a fever?! I’m still in shock.

Liam was tested for the flu, RSV, and strep throat. He had X-Rays done to determine if he had pneumonia or anything else going on in his lungs. He was checked for an ear infection. Nothing.

He slept most of the time we were there and didn’t even wake up when they checked for the flu and RSV. He was exhausted.

When that was all done and the tests all came back negative, they checked his vitals again and they were back to normal. Well, mostly normal. He was still only breathing 98% of room air, but it was better than the 90% before. His temp had gone down to 99.something. He was looking better and actually sitting up and talking. They sent us home.

We left with no answers other than to follow-up with his primary physician, give him amoxicillin, and rotate ibuprofen and Tylenol every 2 hours around the clock for 2 days.

Fast forward to the next day when we followed up with his primary physician… he said to not give amoxicillin (luckily we hadn’t filled the prescription yet. We wanted to wait for a more definite answer from his pediatrician) because it was just a virus and to not give the Tylenol/ibuprofen so frequently unless his fever came back.

We had a second follow-up appointment with Liam’s pediatrician today and all is well. He is a little congested but other than that he is good.

The most terrifying moment of my life turned out to be kind of “normal” in toddlers. While things could go wrong, as long as you are monitoring your child closely when it happens and helping them stay safe, everything should be okay.

I don’t want other moms to be as clueless about these seizures as I was. I can’t believe there isn’t more information readily available.

What to Know About Febrile Seizures

  • These seizures normally happen when the child’s temperature is above 102 degrees.
  • Febrile seizures do not always mean something serious is wrong.
  • If your child is having a seizure, lay them on the floor or hold a small child face down on your lap.
  • Lay the child on their side to keep their airway clear.
  • Stay calm! It’ll help calm the child and you’ll be able to think more clearly.
  • Try to time the length of the seizure.
  • You don’t have to put anything in your child’s mouth to hold their tongue – it could actually injure the child.
  • Talk to your child in soothing tones.
  • I was told that we don’t have to bring him in if he has a febrile seizure that is shorter than three minutes, but you should call the doctor immediately and ask their opinion.
  • You should take your child to the emergency department if your child’s fever won’t come down with Tylenol or ibuprofen, or if they are not acting normal. Go with your gut, you know your baby better than anyone else.

I hope it never happens to your little but, if it does, just try to stay calm (easier said than done, I know) while you assess what your next step should be.

Have you heard of febrile seizures before? Do you have any experience with them? Let me know in the comments!

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Our Family Teenager

Advice for a Teenage Girl

Do you remember being 14 years old? What was your life like at that time?

I was 14 in 2005. When I think back, I think of hanging out with my friends, going to concerts, having boyfriends!!!, watching Laguna Beach, and essentially becoming my own person outside of my family unit. I feel like once I reached high school, I became so much more independent. I had friends who had cars so I didn’t need my parents to drive me everywhere anymore. It felt like freedom.

I spent quite a bit of time in my bedroom, wishing my parents would leave me alone and reading magazines or talking on the phone. You know, normal teenage stuff.

We were wearing layered polos and popped collars and some people were even wearing awful trucker hats (I may or may not be guilty of that myself..).

Gone were the days when I spent most of my time with my parents and siblings. Gone were the days of playing with toys and watching cartoons. I was 14, and that was a huge deal.

Well, Nevaeh turned 14 today. OMG. We are IN TROUBLE.

Just kidding… kind of. I know we are entering a whole new chapter with her, but I also know she’s learned how to make better choices and respect herself, and all we can do is hope that we have taught her right.

When Chris and I started dating, Nevaeh was only 8 years old. She was a kid, a 3rd grader.

Now she’s 14. She’s going into high school, will be learning to drive a car, beginning an entirely new chapter in her life.

I constantly think she’s just a little kid. Reminiscing on my own memories of being 14 has made me realize that she’s not. We’ve got a high schooler on our hands now!!

It’s such a HUGE milestone. Life happens fast, guys.

This silly little girl…

 

has become this beautiful young woman.

One thing that hasn’t changed since I was 14? Girls still wear hair ties on their wrists even when they’re dressing up. LOL!!

One thing I’d love to give Nevaeh for her birthday is some advice, but I know she won’t listen. My only hope is that she reads it here and maybe takes some of it to heart. 😉

Advice For a Teenage Girl

  • Surround yourself with positive people – When you’re choosing your friends, think about how they treat you and how they speak. Are they always being negative? Do they say things that hurt your feelings or make your start thinking negatively? Maybe it’s time to rethink the friendship. Be friends with people who build you up and always want to see the best happen. Surround yourself with people who truly love you and will never intentionally hurt you.
  • Boys should come last – I know teenage girls are going to be talking to and dating boys, but don’t make them the priority. Spend time with your friends, make memories that will last forever, build lifelong relationships with your best friends so that you will still have them in your life 20 years from now. Don’t ditch your friends for a boy, don’t pass on experiences and opportunities for a boy, and don’t lose yourself for a boy. You’ll have plenty of time for boys when you are older, don’t let them fill every thought and moment of your life.
  • Put down your phone – Honestly, this piece of advice could work for any age group. Live in the moment, enjoy what is going on around you, and talk to people in person.
  • Be nice – Say kind things to others, help others out even if you have to go out of your way, stick up for people. Talk to the person sitting all alone at lunch or in class. Being kind is something you’ll never regret. You never know how someone is feeling or what they are dealing with, never be the person to add to their pain or the person who ruins their day.
  • Save adult stuff for when you are an adult – I know adult stuff seems exciting but it’s really not. You’ll have plenty of time for that later. You aren’t expected to make adult decisions or do adult things, leave that to the trusted adults in your life. They are in your life to guide you and help you, let them. Learn from them. Then, when it’s your turn, you’ll see why it’s best to hold off as long as possible.
  • Step out of your comfort zone – Try something new or go somewhere you’ve never been before. Take a chance at something you might suck at because you just never know. You won’t regret making new memories of things you’ve never done before, so just do it. Don’t worry about what others will think of you or about messing up, everyone has to start somewhere!
  • Do what makes you happy – If you love doing something, keep doing it!! Even if your friends aren’t interested, keep doing the things you love. Don’t lose your passions or miss out on things that make your heart happy. Stay true to yourself.

What is one piece of advice you would give to a teenage girl? Leave it in the comments below, I know a couple teenagers who will definitely be reading them! 🙂

Categories
On My Mind

Emotional Parenting

Guys, I have become so emotional since I gave birth to my oldest.

Before kids, I would pride myself on my ability to leave emotion out of EVERYTHING. Nothing bothered me, I rarely cried, and I would laugh during moments when I should have been sad or at least a little bummed. I don’t know why I thought this was a good characteristic of mine, but I really thought it was great.

Fast forward to pregnancy and I was emotional. Not TOO bad, but bad enough that it shocked me. I cried over swollen ankles, broken sandals, and ice in my drink. I thought that was bad.

Then, I gave birth. The moment he was born I was overwhelmed with emotion. That part I expected. What I did not expect was to be overwhelmed with emotion ALL THE TIME about EVERYTHING. Breastfeeding made me emotional, bath time made me emotional, cuddling and kisses made me emotional. Obviously, I wasn’t sad all that time (I did suffer from PPD but that’s a different issue), but I was feeling some bittersweet emotions. I loved my new baby so much that everything made me cry. Tears of joy, tears of pain (breastfeeding), tears of amazement (is that even a thing? I think for moms it is). Seriously, everything.

I thought this emotional stage would pass once the newborn stage passed. I was wrong. So, so wrong.

I cry when I see something I relate to (like this post from Creating a Mama), I cry when my kids learn something new, I cry when I think about how big they are getting, I cry when something makes me happy. STILL. Years later, and I am still an emotional mess ALL THE TIME. I cry when I don’t even know the people involved in an incident or when someone that I barely know posts on facebook that they had a death in their family. Oh and today I cried when I noticed that Peyton forgot his lunch at home and I couldn’t make it to his school before lunch started, even though I am fully aware that he will get lunch at school and be completely fine.

Where does this come from? What happens in a woman that turns her into this emotional mess all the time? Am I the only mom that is like this?

Sometimes I wish the emotions would go away but at the same time, I like to be aware of how a situation is making me feel. Before I was a parent, my mindset that nothing could bother me was probably unhealthy and I feel like I never connected with anyone on an emotional level.

My kids amaze me and I just can’t believe how much they are growing. Pretty soon I will no longer have a “baby”.. I actually technically already don’t. Liam is a “toddler” but he’s my baby. I look back on pictures from when my kids were newborn babies and it’s so bittersweet… take me back for just a day, please. Let me hold my infant in my arms and nurse one more time. Let me rock my baby to sleep and spend hours staring at their tiny little face.

The emotions don’t end after pregnancy or even after the newborn stage. At least not for me. Now I’m emotional for every milestone, no matter how tiny, for every time my littles are hurt, for everytime my big kids are left disappointed or sad… and for a million other reasons that don’t make sense to me.

Parenting is a rollercoaster, that’s for sure.

Categories
Our Family

Happy Birthday To My First Born

How can it be that my first born is four years old? My sweet Sylas… the baby who taught me how to be a mom, how to successfully breastfeed, how to change a diaper on my lap, how to love with my whole entire heart. We learned all the hard parts together and formed a bond greater than anything I ever thought possible. Through all the sleepless nights, exhausting days, frustrated tears, painful nursing, we grew closer to one another. He became my best friend and my sidekick. He became my rock, even though I know I’m supposed to be his.

He taught me to smile on the hard days and fight through what seemed like unbearable post-partum depression. Looking back, I realize I could have been such a better mom if only I hadn’t been so depressed but Sylas loved me unconditionally anyway. Holding him and talking to him when he was an infant was the only thing that made me feel better some days.

Even now, all these years later, I go to Sylas when I’m feeling sad. This boy can always cheer me up and knows just what to say to make me smile. His sweet kisses and big hugs can cheer me up any day. We have come so far together in these 4 short years.

This boy is perfect in every single way. He is so smart, funny, caring, and a little bit crazy. He’s my little love bug and will always be a baby in my eyes… my sweet, sweet, baby. How crazy that my boy has grown from a tiny little baby who nursed non-stop, constantly held onto mama’s finger, and rested in mama’s arms most of the day into a 4-year-old, independent, crazy, wild almost preschooler. I can’t believe it and I wish time would SLOW down. I need my baby just a little longer before he realizes he doesn’t need me anymore.

Today is your day, my little superhero. This is the day mama’s life changed… the day mama became a better person… and the day mama found a love that would forever overfill her heart. This is the day you were born, and a day that is so special to me. I love you, Sylas Pierce,  more than you’ll ever know.

Categories
Coffee Date

Coffee Date – April

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you how my kids were using Cheetos as “dinosaurs” during snack time. Complete with “rawrs” and dinosaur attacks. I would tell you that I let them, even though they aren’t supposed to play with their food, because sometimes it’s easier that way and sometimes mama is a softy.

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you that I’m dreading Peyton’s baseball practice tonight because it’s too cold to do anything outside. Then I would complain about the weather, like the rest of us Michiganders, because it’s April and this is RIDICULOUS. Seriously, snow this morning and the real feel was 18 degrees when the kids and I went outside to play. OVER. IT.

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you how Josie has been falling asleep while playing her guitar for the past two days at nap time and bedtime. I have a musician on my hands and I’m so excited about it. I’d tell you that I’m going to have to buy her a new guitar because hers is missing a string and she couldn’t learn on a guitar that’s missing a string! I would also tell you how much she loves to sing. Do we have a Taylor Swift in the making? hmmmm…

 

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you how Liam is struggling with cutting SIX teeth. That’s right, SIX at one time. He’s been cranky and miserable and hasn’t been eating much. He had a fever yesterday and slept most of the day. He’s been wanting cuddles and something to chew on and when he does decide to play, he wants mama really close by because he comes to have his back rubbed every few minutes.

Telling you about Liam’s teeth would then start a conversation about how sad I am that my babies are all grown up. I love watching them learn and grow, but I’m sad because they’re getting so big.

Then I would tell you that I enrolled Sylas in preschool last week. PRESCHOOL. Can you believe it?! I sure can’t. My first born baby is going to be starting PRESCHOOL in the fall. What will I do without him?!

If we were on a coffee date I would spend the whole time talking about my kids because that’s all I talk about. LOL

If we were on a coffee date what would you tell me?

Categories
Our Family

For Such a Little While

One day, my kids won’t want me around all the time. They won’t want me to go with them to school, or to join them on playdates with friends. They won’t want me running around at the park and going down slides with them. They won’t even always come to me when they are hurt or sad. Someday, life will be different. They may not want me for everything when they’re older but right now, I am their whole world. It’s hard for me to imagine my babies not needing me. I’m only their world for a little while, they’ll be my world forever.

I used to get frustrated when they needed me for every little thing or when my house was always a hot mess because of the kids. I took it for granted. When I went back to work full time, it hit me – they are everything to me. I want to be there for every little bump and bruise. I want to see every achievement, no matter how small. I want to be there when they learn to hop on one foot or button their own pants. I’m not kidding, I want to be there for everything. Every. Little. Achievement. So, I quit my job (the cost of childcare made this decision even easier, honestly).

Some call this a hover mom, some call this plain psychotic, but I hate being away from my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I grumble about not having any time to myself or about never having time away with my husband but, while this time away is nice (and much needed), I’m still always thinking about my littles. They are always becoming more and more independent and I know that the days of fewer cuddles and less of them needing mama are coming quicker than I can comprehend. Maybe this stems from me having 3 kids in such a short amount of time. This is it. These are the only baby years I’ll ever experience. I am soaking it up. I have to.

Now, I am looking around my house at the mess we’ve made. There are goldfish cracker crumbs on the floor that I have already swept two times today. There are rainboots on my kitchen counter. There is a basket of clean laundry, unfolded, sitting by the stairs. I probably couldn’t find my remote (again) if I wanted to watch TV, and my car keys might be missing, too. It’s fine.

 

Seriously, it really is fine. I used to feel like a failure and I’d be frantic and grumpy when my house would look this way, which was all the time. It honestly used to look worse. When I learned to love being home with my kids all the time, I learned how to balance the household duties a little better, as well. It all fell into place once I realized that this is where I want to be. Where I need to be. So, while things are not ever perfect, my babies are perfect and precious, and they are my whole world. I am only their whole world for a short time, they are my whole world forever. I want to have these memories. I want to have the messy house if that means I can make memories with my kids every day. I want to have the hectic mornings rushing around to playgroups and story times because that means we were making more memories. I want to hold their hand and walk through the park or go down a slide with them sitting on my lap.

Nothing is better than giving Josie butterfly and Eskimo kisses or having her run her soft palms across my cheeks. Nothing is better than hearing Liam laugh at every little thing or feeling his sweet, cuddly hugs. Nothing is better than having Sylas cuddled up next to me or chatting my ear off about his plans for the day. I live for these little things. I can’t miss out on them.

The other day Liam started fussing in his crib at nap time. I started to go in his room when I heard Sylas singing You Are My Sunshine to Liam. This is the song I sing to Liam when he’s sad or when I’m putting him to sleep. My heart melted when I heard Sylas comforting his brother. Josie is just as sweet to Liam. She’s always making sure he has his blanket and rubs his back or hugs him when he is fussing. She gives him his bottle even when he doesn’t need it, and she cannot let any of her siblings go to bed without giving them a hug and a kiss first. Missing out on their bond would kill me more than anything.

There is nothing more precious than a child, and I can’t fathom the idea of missing out on any of the precious days with them. I am going to soak up the few years I have left and embrace all that God has given me. They need me, and I need them just as much.